Adventures N Writing

I promised to make a holiday murder mystery title out of whatever words my Facebook followers gave me. Okay, fine, I cheated a little by giving chapter titles, too… Tough! Gingerbread Wassail Roses Glasses Levi Johnston Santa Claus Beer Rick Springfield Blonde Horse Egg Nog St. Clair Broiler Nausea In-laws Candy caned The Blonde In-Law Murders: Santa Claus Gets His Candy Caned Chapter 1 : In Which I Meet Rick Springfield at the St. Clair Broiler for Gingerbread Egg Nog and We Get Our Wassail On.  Chapter 2 : In Which My Beer Glasses Saw Only Roses Until A Glimpse of Levi Johnston’s “Horse” Induced Nausea. There you go! And that's why I'm an incredibly famous writer. Yeah, I need another cup of coffee... Happy Holidays! Jessica

So it’s almost Thanksgiving. Time to proclaim all that you are grateful for. Family, friends, the whole bit. Yeah, whatever. But first I have to share what I’m NOT thankful for. I’m a big fan of angst, so here is what I’m most angsty about this year: The, um, horrendous, puke-worthy, depressing state of the book market. It’s terrible. It’s a nightmare to sell a book, unless you’re, say, Stephanie Meyer;  then you can re-write the phone book so that “Andrews, Marcia” spends her time pining over  the immortal, hunky, fanged “Fitzpatrick, Alan.” (Yeah, yeah, I read the whole series, too. And I’m team Edward. All the way.) Meanwhile, stupid, stupid, awful books like Palin’s “Going Rogue” and that vapid Heidi and Spencer’s book, “How to Be Famous” are selling like H1N1 vaccines on the black market. Who is reading this crap? Please read something good. It doesn’t have to be a sleep-inducing tribute to academia, or a lengthy philosophical novel that makes you want to slit your wri...

I'm a good girl. I always have pretty much been a good girl. I try to do the right thing, make people happy--you know the good girl syndrome. I bet many of you are also "good girls." But I can't speak for my partner in crime, JP. I think deep down she's a good girl. She wants to be anyway. She really is good, because anyone who is still in love with Rick Springfield is technically a good girl. Actually she's a good girl with a bad attiutude, and no I don't mean bad as in bad. I meean it in the cool/bad terminology of the word. Oh boy, you all know what I mean. But she's the reason we now have an "adult content" warning on our blog... Anyway, my friendship with the lovely Ms. Park began in an e-mail where she let me know that, although she'd been barfing all night due to food poisoning, she was grateful she had a copy of "Silenced by Syrah," because in between violent meetings with the porcelain God, she was enjoying (and bet...

Michele was kind enough (or just not well thought-out enough) to ask me to blog with her. In another naive move, she gave me her password so I took it upon myself to screw with her blog and move everything around. Poor woman. Anyhow, I took a very formal survey on Facebook about which inane subjects the public would like me to address. Those View ladies have “Hot Topics” but I’m just going with “Lukewarm Topics That Have No Important Bearing on the World Whatsoever.” So by request, here are my thoughts on today’s pressing issues: Twitt er: There is no way to discuss Twitter without sounding vulgar. “I tweeted/twatted/twittered….” Any way you put it makes it sound like you’re busy getting yourself off. Which maybe you are, but I don’t want to know about it. And if I did want to know about it, I’d certainly want more than 140 characters of detail. Go the Carrie Prejean route. Live a little. The bigger problem I have is that Twitter confuses me because I can’t keep track of anyone, so I ...