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The Green Eyed Monster

You know how when you do something that in the moment seems like it is probably an okay thing to do, but then you later think, "Huh. That was stupid." Yeah well, that would be me right about now.

I decided yesterday to go on Kindleboards (for those of you who don't know what Kindleboards is, it is a place where Kindle readers and writers can go and check out what others are reading, writing, etc). There is a section in there called Writer's Cafe where writers can post stuff. Well, silly me decided to post how green-eyed I am with envy over J.A. Konrath's e-book sales (I won't even mention Amanda Hocking). A good friend of mine read it and didn't see a problem with what I wrote, but you know how when something nags you for several hours, then you should trust your gut. I didn't write anything negative, just truthful.  The replies were nice. No one was a jerk and people had some really great suggestions, but I felt icky and dumb for writing it in the first place. Grr...that's where the Internet can bite you sometimes. Don't write what you don't want people to read. Lesson noted.

I simply told my personal publishing story--some of the ups and the downs, and then I went on to say that I want to sell as many books a day as Konrath does. I do. I want to put my 3 kids through school, pay the bills, and take a vacation once a year. Plus, be able to pay for all of my animals, which I think at this point are costing me more than the kids. One person did suggest that I spend more time being grateful. I think i'll try that.

That comment did make me feel awfully greedy, I think. And then I think, no not really. I guess I fluctuate at being the altrusitic artist who writes because I can't breathe without being able to write (and yes--this is my passion, so I although I am pretty certain I could still breathe if I didn't do it, I am also pretty certain I would not be a happy camper if I didn't write) to the career oriented business woman who treats my writing career as a business with profits and loss and all that good stuff. I am sure there is a happy medium in there somewhere as I move forward as the altruistic passionately involved writerly business chick. Now, how do you like that title?

Anyway, I decided to take the post off, but since I only have friends reading my blog and there is like 5 of you, I figured I'd share with you what I had done.

So anyone else out there envious of anyone or anything? Come on--share please. If not for anythng else, than my own selfishness of not wanting to feel so selfish. It would be nice to know I am in good company.

Cheers,
Michele

Comments

Gayle Carline said…
So I just wrote a huge comment (think historical fiction) and Blogger burped it back at me. So if I show up twice, mea culpa.

Yes, I am envious of other writers, but I try to temper that with my knowledge of where they are and where I am.

Joe is selling crazy amounts of books, but he's also spent a few years working all the angles to get his name known. Truly, Michele, can either of us afford the time/money to visit 500 bookstores around the country? His blog, full of information and brutal honesty, has also garnered him as much a following as his books.

Then I look at you. You may not be feeding the horses on your sales yet (and I'm guessing Joe would not be as rich if he owned horses!) but your sales seem respectable, from my vantage point. I see you as being able to get there ($$$) from here ($).

I've got two books out, in different genres. I've decided to self-pub the 2nd mystery, because my fans keep asking for it and the only publisher I was interested in just passed on it. I'm 8000 words into the 3rd mystery, and just this week figured out where I want it to go, so I'm hoping to get it moving forward quickly.

In the meantime, I keep reminding myself that success takes hard work, time, and yes, a little luck. For the luck, I always hang my horseshoes with the ends UP, to catch the good fortune raining down!
Shel said…
Hi, Michele. I'm not sure I see anything wrong with what you wrote. I think most authors would be madly envious of J.A. Konrath and Amanda Hocking's success.
Anyway - what or who am I envious of? Anyone who has an office job. As you know, I work part time retail. I hate it more and more with each passing day. I also just found out this morning my aggregate student loan funding is going to run out before I graduate. The formatting I do on the side isn't enough to let me stop the "day job", and even if it was, it wouldn't fit in our budgeting, because it isn't regular enough. So I can't make that leap.
A.K. Alexander said…
Shel,

You are an amazing editor! I think you need to promote that. I love everything you've ever done for me and if I can help in any way please let me know!!!
Jenny Hansen said…
Hi Michele!

A 2+ Million book deal for Amanda Hocking is hard not to be impressed with. As far as she and J.A. Konrath go, they hopped on the e-book wave sooner than many other writers. I think the same success pattern could swamp any other writer (like you!) at any time. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it.

I miss you - baby girl will be one on May 9th. I just did a blog on Hoshi that you'd like at http://writersinthestorm.wordpress.com.

Chat soon?

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