You know how when you do something that in the moment seems like it is probably an okay thing to do, but then you later think, "Huh. That was stupid." Yeah well, that would be me right about now.
I decided yesterday to go on Kindleboards (for those of you who don't know what Kindleboards is, it is a place where Kindle readers and writers can go and check out what others are reading, writing, etc). There is a section in there called Writer's Cafe where writers can post stuff. Well, silly me decided to post how green-eyed I am with envy over J.A. Konrath's e-book sales (I won't even mention Amanda Hocking). A good friend of mine read it and didn't see a problem with what I wrote, but you know how when something nags you for several hours, then you should trust your gut. I didn't write anything negative, just truthful. The replies were nice. No one was a jerk and people had some really great suggestions, but I felt icky and dumb for writing it in the first place. Grr...that's where the Internet can bite you sometimes. Don't write what you don't want people to read. Lesson noted.
I simply told my personal publishing story--some of the ups and the downs, and then I went on to say that I want to sell as many books a day as Konrath does. I do. I want to put my 3 kids through school, pay the bills, and take a vacation once a year. Plus, be able to pay for all of my animals, which I think at this point are costing me more than the kids. One person did suggest that I spend more time being grateful. I think i'll try that.
That comment did make me feel awfully greedy, I think. And then I think, no not really. I guess I fluctuate at being the altrusitic artist who writes because I can't breathe without being able to write (and yes--this is my passion, so I although I am pretty certain I could still breathe if I didn't do it, I am also pretty certain I would not be a happy camper if I didn't write) to the career oriented business woman who treats my writing career as a business with profits and loss and all that good stuff. I am sure there is a happy medium in there somewhere as I move forward as the altruistic passionately involved writerly business chick. Now, how do you like that title?
Anyway, I decided to take the post off, but since I only have friends reading my blog and there is like 5 of you, I figured I'd share with you what I had done.
So anyone else out there envious of anyone or anything? Come on--share please. If not for anythng else, than my own selfishness of not wanting to feel so selfish. It would be nice to know I am in good company.