Wednesday, October 31, 2012

My Belief on The Afterlife

I know Katie Couric posted this morning on her thoughts on an Afterlife. Unlike, Katie, I am absolutely positive there is an Afterlife. I know it in my heart. It is simply a knowing for me. Here are a few brief stories from my life that have allowed me to accept this as a truth for me.

I've had a lot of loss in the past two years. It has not been easy, especially the loss of my Dad. My brother passed shortly after my Dad (actually 2 months to the day that Dad died), and my ex-husband who had still been a friend committed suicide two years ago. In my ex-husband's case I had to witness the loss of innocence within my sons on top of losing their Dad. Not easy, but my faith has gotten me through much of this.

Growing up I lived in a haunted house. I really did. Things would disappear and then show up in very strange places (like under a bed), doors and cupboards would slam in the middle of the night, radios would go off and on, etc. There were countless incidents in that house that caused my Dad who did not believe in such things to do some research on ghosts, spirits, and the property we lived on, which turned out to be former Indian grounds. There was nothing ever harmful that I felt in that house, and I actually did see a little girl spirit one day there. I also had an experience when I was nine-years-old right after my grandfather passed away. I was very close to him and we shared the love of horses with one another. He was a really special person in my life and his death was a very sad experience for me. Until...he visited me one night in my room. He was lit up brightly and wearing the same mechanic jumpsuit he'd worn daily for years. He very clearly told me that I should not be sad or worried because he was happy and safe.

As I grew into adulthood, I couldn't help wonder if it was my wild imagination  as a kid was the reality of things. But, then my husband and I moved into an old home in an older area of San Diego. Things happened in that house all the time. When our daughter was born, she had toys that made noises by squeezing them, etc. Those toys would go off at all hours. A friend of mine would come over and refuse to go downstairs because she felt someone was always down there (it was a basement we turned into a family room). My husband didn't believe it was due to a ghost, until one day, he was in the laundry room with no windows opened and the detergent bottle went flying across the room. That was enough to convince him! Then our Ridgeback Java would stare up at the ceiling and bark, his eyes following something. That was definitely a bit disconcerting.

Right before my Grandma passed away a few years ago, I asked her before she died if she could show me a sign after she was gone that I knew she was okay. She passed in July that year and the day we buried her it was excruciatingly hot. There was a drape of pink roses across her casket. My Mom and I each took a rose and when we got home we put them in a vase. Those roses survived for two weeks, and still looked perfect right up until TWO WEEKS! These were roses that had been out of water during the ceremony for a couple of hours. It was a hot July! There is no way unless through something far more powerful than I think I can wrap my brain around that they would have survived. Do I think that was a sign from my Grandma? You bet! So, does my Mom.

A year after my Grandma passed, my best friend Hillary died from breast cancer. The night she passed away I was with her. At one point in the evening, she opened her eyes and said to me, "Why me?!" Then she drifted in and out of consciousness. An hour later she opened her eyes again and said, "I am ready to go home now." Ten minutes later she was gone. That night in bed, thinking of her and all the fun we had together and all that we had shared, I was so sad. I drifted off to sleep and both John and I were woken by our stereo going off playing soft, lovely music--not on a station we would have set. We like classical but it is not our first choice. I knew it was Hillary letting me know she was okay.

I have more stories that involve the passing of pets. I even have a couple of scary stories that I won't talk about.

My last story is the most recent. It involves my Dad. My Dad passed away on June 27th of this year. He was truly a wonderful parent and grandparent--full of love, life, and positivity. Losing him has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through, after witnessing the pain and experience my sons have gone through at the loss of their own Dad.

For the last few months I felt like my Dad hadn't been around, that he wasn't giving me a sign, and it really troubled me.

Then, two weeks ago when I was in New York for some very important meetings, I woke up at 4:30 in the morning, wondering what the hell I was doing there. I was filled with doubts, and frustration. I fell back asleep, and the next thing you know, I am with my Dad. It is my young Dad from when I was a kid. I am pushing him in his wheelchair, and he is wearing this gorgeous purple scarf, which he would have never worn when he was here! Everything around us is white and light and beautiful. I can see images going past us and I know they are people, but I can't make them out. In front  of us are a lot of stairs like in a Coliseum that lead down to the shore, and ocean. He tells me, "Why are you worried? You will be great! Just do everything I taught you. You got this!" Then, I began to lose control of the wheelchair and it is heading toward the steep stairs. Suddenly, Dad lifts himself up out of the chair and is floating. He begins to laugh and says, "Don't worry. I don't need that thing anymore! I can't be hurt any longer and I don't hurt any longer. I could have walked with you." I ask him why he didn't walk with me then. He laughs and says, "I thought it would be fun to have you push me around again!" Then, I woke up. My day went beautifully. My meetings were successful, and I had a sense Dad was right there with me all day.

Some might say that was just a dream. I don't think so. So, if you wonder what my view is on an Afterlife? I think it's pretty clear...I have no doubts. What it completely looks like, I have no clear idea. I just know that this place here on Earth is not the end.

I'd love to know your thoughts!