Monday, December 7, 2009

Silly Men Alert: Important Tip for the Delivery Room!


For some reason I have a lot of online pals about to give birth (yay!) so I have a very important piece of advice: Don't let the dad-to-be bring anything into the labor and delivery room. No mp3 players, cell phones, Blackberries, gadgets of any kind. Nothing. Especially a good book. My husband decided to pick up Harry Potter the day I was induced and I will never think about this goddamn series without cringing a bit. Now, I supposed I didn't mind so much that he was lost in this book while I was having minor pain and, truthfully, just watching Days of Our Lives. But when the doctor decided to break my water, causing me to regrettably understand the term "blinding pain," it would have been nice not to feel that I was dragging him away from something more interesting than his wife's agony, and forcing me to grunt, "Get. Over. Here." He's lucky I didn't run off with the anesthesiologist who gave me the best f'ing epidural anyone has ever had, because the moment the pain hinted at easing up, Bill was back to Harry Potter.

In retrospect, my husband should have been allowed onto the hospital premises with only the clothes on his back and nothing else. (God forbid a new Black Crowes album had come out or he might have missed the actual birth.) But it was, after all, Harry Potter and I knew how glued to the book I was when it came out. So I forgive him. Only because I'm crazy.

So ladies, pack your hospital bags, but forbid your husband from packing anything. I don't care if you're in labor for three days; he'll deal.

BTW, it really is true that you don't care about the pain after the baby is born. Honestly. You remember it, but you don't care... promise.

-Jessica

3 comments:

Jerrica Knight-Catania said...

LMAO! Jessica, that is too funny! And a great piece of advice! I'll make sure Eric doesn't bring anything with him...especially because he's my hypnobirth coach!!! LOL!

Michele Scott and Jessica Park said...

Oh, good Lord, Bill would have accidentally cast some Hogwarts spell on me! -Jess

Michele said...

Don't let him watch football either. Just so happened that my husband's favorite team was playing Monday night football that night--Cowboys. Then when the game was over, he fell asleep! Five minutes before the doctor had me pushing, I told my mom to wake his ass up, and she said, "But he's tired." Tired!?! Give me a freaking break. It was his fault that he got up ay 4 a.m. to surf not mine and it was his fault (totally--well, not entirely) that I was in the position I was in.

You should have seen his face when my mom woke him.

I, too, was pleased with the anethesiologist, and yes--the pain does go away.