Sunday, November 22, 2009

Where Do You Get Babies?

My eight-year-old son brought up the dreaded question last night. I’ve explained this phenomenon before, but unfortunately kids need different forms of information as they age. I gave him the short run-down (again) but my narrative was followed by the inevitable slew of questions.

Kid: What if you had another baby?

Me: I'm not.

Kid: But what if you did?

Me: The world would implode... I mean, don't worry about it. I'm not.

Kid: But so where do you get babies?

Me: Costco. Or in your case, Target. Target has everything, right?

Kid (glaring at me): Mom!

Me: Remember your book? From Mommies and Daddies.

Kid: But how?

Me: Well, people have to have sex.

Kid: What???? Oh my God!

Me (nodding): Yes. It’s true.

I then gave him a unnecessarily lengthy description of IVF in the vain hope that his interest in science would distract him from further interrogation.

Kid: So which one did you do to have me? Sex or the other one?

Me: I did not have IVF.

Kid (look of hysteria and disbelief crossing his face): Did YOU have SEX?

Me (clearing my throat): Um… yes.

Kid (thinking for a moment): Just that one time?

Me (pondering various four-letter words, then pausing way too long): That’s private.

Kid: Oh my god!



Michele Scott and Jessica Park said...

Am really happy my 8 year-old has only asked about periods so far. She will hopefully believe there is a baby section at Target. I'm planning ahead.

Dru said...

You gotta love kids and the conversations they get you into.

Lori's Reading Corner said...

Well done mom!

Shel said...

LOL well, we knew Nick was precocious...*grin*.