Monday, November 23, 2009

Just a Couple of Bad Girls

I'm a good girl. I always have pretty much been a good girl. I try to do the right thing, make people happy--you know the good girl syndrome. I bet many of you are also "good girls." But I can't speak for my partner in crime, JP. I think deep down she's a good girl. She wants to be anyway. She really is good, because anyone who is still in love with Rick Springfield is technically a good girl. Actually she's a good girl with a bad attiutude, and no I don't mean bad as in bad. I meean it in the cool/bad terminology of the word. Oh boy, you all know what I mean. But she's the reason we now have an "adult content" warning on our blog...

Anyway, my friendship with the lovely Ms. Park began in an e-mail where she let me know that, although she'd been barfing all night due to food poisoning, she was grateful she had a copy of "Silenced by Syrah," because in between violent meetings with the porcelain God, she was enjoying (and better yet, even laughing) while reading the third caper in my Wine Lover's series. Every author wants to receive an e-mail like this. Even with the vomiting factor. I mean, if a reader will keep reading your book while puking all night long... Hey, as far as I'm concerned that's a great compliment.

So anyhow, I knew I had to talk with this chick. I e-mailed her back and got her phone number, and the rest is history. Pretty much not a day goes by that we don't speak and support one another. We've even been banned for life from the "Cooking Light," website. I'm totally serious here. All we were trying to do was give away free books! The next thing I know we receive a nasty e-mail that tells us we are banned FOR LIFE from the Cooking Light Web site. OMG--like seriously? Do they have Internet cops who are tracking us for the next fifty years to make sure we never ever go on their site? And frankly, I don't even like to cook light do I don't particularly give a crap. We were just trying to be politically correct since "healthy lifestyle" seems to be the buzz line these days. I might be married to a personal trainer and nutritionist, but if you think I don't use real butter and cream in my food, then I hate to tell you... Well, I really hate to tell my husband because he thinks I am this amazing cook who cooks all of these healthy meals for the family that conveniently always taste good.  Yeah, well, like I said, butter and cream all the way, and screw Cooking Light; the website and the actual act.

By the way, this cooking light thing I do at home is just between us here.

So back to my getting to know Jessica story. When JP told me how she envisioned me and my writing world, I actually laughed so hard there were tears in my eyes. My BAD friend actually had this vision of me sitting in a white, oversized chaise lounge, overlooking the ocean, with a glass of expensive wine in my hand. Sounds good to me. I just was wondering where the Levi lookalike cabana boys were in that vision? (By the way, I'm good with the Levi look but God forbid that a boy that dumb opens his mouth around me. He is here for one reason, and you all know it isn't to be attorney general, or vice president.) So it's a good vision, huh? But I had to burst that bubble. There is nothing white in this house. And if it was ever white, it's likely now a kind of beige, tan, possibly brown. But definitely not white. As for the expensive wine? I know that the wine lover's mystery author should be drinking expensive wine, but I've yet to receive a royalty payment resemblant of say, Nora Roberts (I'm dreaming now). If by "expensive" she meant under ten bucks, then okay. You could probably find me drinking a glass in the evenings in my kitchen while I cook dinner for five, chase out the 120-pound Rhodesian Ridgeback and the pound puppy every five minutes. (Granted, I've been known to feed the dogs an In-N-Out burger on occasion, but they really need to learn to leave me alone.)

I live a good life, but it isn't in a chaise lounge and I won't be cooking light/Cooking Light any time soon. And I look forward to retirement because JP and I have vowed to have a vacation home somewhere tropical with plenty of eye candy around to bring us fruity drinks and calorie-laden delicacies while lounging on something white. Because we'll be too old to do anything but look and our husbands will be too old to care.

Have a great day and remember to be good. Actually no: be BAD.



Michele Scott and Jessica Park said...

See what I mean? JP has always been BAD. Look at the Wonder Woman outfit at what, 8?

I was a princess that year with purple sequins on my tiara.

Gayle Carline said...

Kicked off of a cooking website? What'd you do, post a recipe that called for red meat, butter and bacon?

P.S. Color me impressed.


Dru said...

You guys are too funny. I did notice that I had to enter differently.

Whatever you're doing...keep it up. This blog is now a daily read for me.

Lori's Reading Corner said...

This is why I love you guys!! I am definitely the good girl. First child/only girl syndrome. I'm always going and doing for others, and well not getting the same in return. I have "sucker" plastered on my forehead. Unfortunately my work leads me to have a very dirty mind! So there is a little bad girl in me too!

Keep it up ladies!

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